I know it's been awhile since I last posted, and that this post doesn't have much to do with my road trip, but it is still a part of my journey nonetheless.
Yesterday my sister had another baby. (YAY!!! I'm an Uncle again!! WOOT! WOOT!) And this got me thinking about being a Father. I am not one (yet) but it is something that I am looking forward to. After hearing this wonderful bit of news, I began to imagine just what it would feel like to have a child of my own, and what it would feel like to be a Father.
Father, A word that is almost meaningless to me now, yet carries within it the stirrings of the greatest joy, the greatest love that a man can experience, yet also the greatest pain and heartache that the world has ever known. What an awesome responsability!! To be a Father. To be the one to mold and guide a young life in this world, to teach and shape one into an adult that will have a great impact on the world around them. It is something so amazing, so awesome, so wonderful and sorrowful at the same time, I do not think I am ready for such a burden. In fact I know I am not worthy to be called by that majestic and powerful name as Father. Yet my heart stirs within me, bringing tears to my eyes, when I think that one day I may put on the mantle of such.
Father. A very important role in our lives, I would go so far as to say, THE most important role one could ever take. A father is not only one who teaches and guides, but one who protects, comforts, provides for, and nurtures. One who bestows upon each one of us our very identities. The one who defines who we are as a person. I know many of us are lost and confused about who we are, and I would attribute that to the lack of a father, in one way or another. The fact is, we NEED fathers, we need those in our lives who will not only speak truth and guidance in the dark and twisted turnings that life often takes, but one who imparts wisdom, knowledge, and life to us in that awkward and vulnerable stage in life known as childhood. For is it through the father that a boy becomes a man, and a girl becomes a woman. We would all still be children (and many of us still are regardless of age) if it wasn't for a father.
Although I am not a father (or even a father figure to my knowledge) I believe that I have had a glimpse, a quick peek into that role and what it may mean to be such. But it is something that I will never fully experience until that day comes when my bride brings forth a child, born in my own image, that I will truly grasp what it means to be a father, and to experience the greatest joy, and the greatest sorrow my heart may ever know. And I await that day with eager anticipation.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
The Call
We all hear the call. Not an audible call, but something that pulls at our spirits and speaks to our souls. It's that feeling that something is not quite right, that something needs to be done. Often times I think we ignore such things and try to pass them off as the bad Mexican we had last night, or that we are just being paranoid or something. However I would like to change our thinking about such things. For I myself have experienced a very strong call, and spent many years ignoring, but when I finally answered the call, my world opened up to new possibilities, and I learned much about myself and grew in ways I didn't think were possible. For each of us the call is different, but I would like to take a few moments and talk about the effects of the call upon my own life.
As you already know I took a road trip across country. The open road was that call for me. The road, and the life one finds upon it. Like a siren beckoning me, I could no longer ignore the pull, and took of one summer day to find, something. Not sure what I was expecting to find, if anything at all, but I did discover many strange and wonderful things along my journey. See, I grew up listening to classic rock. Many of the artist of that time talked about being on the road, packing up and going, and of the life of a rambler, a wanderer. These songs spoke something to me, that I was unable to decipher until I was much older, and a little wiser. These songs spoke to my soul, calling me out to join them upon the road. And so I did just that. There is a strange sort of freedom one has out there. I had no obligations, no responsibility, and no particular place to go or be. In the words of Bob Segar: "I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide." And in this freedom I found myself once again. I followed a direction on a whim, I saw a place that looked interesting, so I stopped. I was able to explore at will. There were no places that were off limits, that I could not traverse. I felt like a bird let out of its cage for the very first time. I was finally free! Yes, I'll admit there were times when it was a little frightening, and many more that were lonely and dull. But I would do it again in a heart beat. I learned that life can be a grand adventure, but adventures are not always fun and exciting. There is bad weather, accidents happen, I was cold, hungry, at times wet and tired. But seeing the sun rise over the mountains in Tennessee, or seeing the Atlantic ocean for the first time stretched out before you on a bright sunny day. Walking in the same places and seeing the same sights as our forefathers of old in New England. It was for such times as these that made all the hardships before worthwhile.
But I digress. The open road was the call to my soul, fueled by the songs of our fathers, by artist such as Bob Segar, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Creedence Clearwater Revival, and many more like them. Something has awakened within my spirit now that I have responded to the call, I can no longer live my life as before. Something within me has changed, I don't know yet exactly what has changed, but something is different. I have been home for about a month, and am once again feeling that pull. Only this time I recognize it for what it is. The open road is calling my name. I don't think I can any longer be content in one place, much like my Celtic heritage, I must wander. I have been into the wild and been changed, and I don't think I can ever be the same. I would pack up and go right now if I had the finances. But alas I do not. So I am stuck, for a season, in one place again. But I know that I will not spend the rest of my days feeling trapped. The road is once again calling my name, and I will answer it again and once more pursue the unknown as a hound pursues its prey. For I know within my heart, that my destiny lies out there on the road, and I will never find it unless I answer its call.
As you already know I took a road trip across country. The open road was that call for me. The road, and the life one finds upon it. Like a siren beckoning me, I could no longer ignore the pull, and took of one summer day to find, something. Not sure what I was expecting to find, if anything at all, but I did discover many strange and wonderful things along my journey. See, I grew up listening to classic rock. Many of the artist of that time talked about being on the road, packing up and going, and of the life of a rambler, a wanderer. These songs spoke something to me, that I was unable to decipher until I was much older, and a little wiser. These songs spoke to my soul, calling me out to join them upon the road. And so I did just that. There is a strange sort of freedom one has out there. I had no obligations, no responsibility, and no particular place to go or be. In the words of Bob Segar: "I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide." And in this freedom I found myself once again. I followed a direction on a whim, I saw a place that looked interesting, so I stopped. I was able to explore at will. There were no places that were off limits, that I could not traverse. I felt like a bird let out of its cage for the very first time. I was finally free! Yes, I'll admit there were times when it was a little frightening, and many more that were lonely and dull. But I would do it again in a heart beat. I learned that life can be a grand adventure, but adventures are not always fun and exciting. There is bad weather, accidents happen, I was cold, hungry, at times wet and tired. But seeing the sun rise over the mountains in Tennessee, or seeing the Atlantic ocean for the first time stretched out before you on a bright sunny day. Walking in the same places and seeing the same sights as our forefathers of old in New England. It was for such times as these that made all the hardships before worthwhile.
But I digress. The open road was the call to my soul, fueled by the songs of our fathers, by artist such as Bob Segar, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Creedence Clearwater Revival, and many more like them. Something has awakened within my spirit now that I have responded to the call, I can no longer live my life as before. Something within me has changed, I don't know yet exactly what has changed, but something is different. I have been home for about a month, and am once again feeling that pull. Only this time I recognize it for what it is. The open road is calling my name. I don't think I can any longer be content in one place, much like my Celtic heritage, I must wander. I have been into the wild and been changed, and I don't think I can ever be the same. I would pack up and go right now if I had the finances. But alas I do not. So I am stuck, for a season, in one place again. But I know that I will not spend the rest of my days feeling trapped. The road is once again calling my name, and I will answer it again and once more pursue the unknown as a hound pursues its prey. For I know within my heart, that my destiny lies out there on the road, and I will never find it unless I answer its call.
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